Pissed-off muffin.

I don't know if it's hormones or the fact that my husband is a freaking child, but I'm just in a downright pissy mood today. I won't even get started with what set me off (they're too numerous to name at this point) but I'm just red-hot-mad. Grrrr... I hate being so cranky. Plus, to make it worse, R went to some event tonight and E was in his usual crying, whiny, cranky-child mood when I picked him up from school. He fell asleep in the car and by the time I got through the 45 minutes of traffic and got him in the house, everything just ticked him off. He cried if I left the room, he cried if I sat down next to him, he cried if the wind blew. Seriously. It was enough to make me want to freak. And, as usual, my darling husband is no where to be found. You know, it must be really nice to live his life. He gets to stay out late, do what he wants when he wants, come home to a wife and child, a clean house, food in the fridge. It must really be nice.

Not feeling much in the way of pregnant. I still have no real hopes for this cycle. I keep getting these strange cramps that come and then go as quickly as they came, but I'm sure it's nothing. Plus, I've been having pretty good mucus for the last few days, but I have no idea what the hell that's all about. I mean, I'm 3DPO so why am I still getting decent mucus? Then again, I've learned that nothing is normal with my body anymore. It may look normal on the outside, but inside I'm nothing but a mess.

I did start doing research for my final project in my Research class. Of course, there seems to be so little data on my topic, so I'm scrounging for articles for the bibliography. I hate when that happens. As it is, I had to severely cut back on my topic because it was so obscure and I'm still not really finding much. Oh well. Four weeks left...

The weather is finally perking up around here. It almost got warm enough for me this afternoon. I think it hit around 93 when I was driving home. E flipped out that the windows were down (too much wind!), so I had to drive with the AC on. I would much rather have had the fresh air, but so be it. Part of my Mom duties, I guess.

I came to the decision yesterday that if this INFERTILE life is the one God has stuck me with, I'm quitting my job to stay home with E for a few more years. If I'm not able to have any more kids and if IVF isn't an option for us because of the thin lining issue, I'm pretty much going to make sure I spend as much time with my only son as possible before he goes to school. I'll put the moving plans aside and let R work his ass off for a few more years so that I can stay home and raise my boy. I felt better knowing that I have a 'Plan B', just in case. We're supposed to meet with the RE in a few weeks if this IUI wasn't successful. I'm sure he's not ready to call it quits at this point, but I'm going to ask him to just lay it on the table and tell us what our odds really are at this point. If I quit my job, the infertility treatments stop anyways, because we won't be able to afford the insurance coverage out of pocket anymore. But that will be it anyways. As much as I like having a new career, I miss being a SAHM. It would be nice to be with E full-time again if it comes to that. Everything is a trade-off, right?