The journey always ends, right?

Don't worry, it's not ending for me yet. I was surfing the net yesterday during my lunch hour, trying to make myself feel a little better about this cycle. I know that I promised myself I wasn’t going to do it, but there are some days when I feel so empty, so desperate for some sort of hope and reassurance that I reach out to the internet to find some comfort. Depending on how desperate I’m feeling, it either makes me feel better or makes me feel worse. Yesterday, I suddenly realized that almost every blog or personal link that I came across had the same conclusion: they all got pregnant.

Now a few months ago this would have made me cry. I would have started wallowing in a vat of self pity, worrying that it was never going to happen to me and just be plain miserable about it for a while. But yesterday was different: I stayed hopeful. Somehow, the thought came to me that I would eventually be one of those bloggers who finally gets to post about a doubling beta, getting a positive test, seeing a new baby on an ultrasound. Granted, I don’t know when it’s going to happen, but I just feel like it’ll be sooner rather than later. Either way, I know that I’m just destined to ride this out and that it will be successful for us. There’s no rhyme or reason to infertility, especially secondary infertility. But there is always an end to the journey. And I’m almost there, I can feel it.