Hard to believe that I had my transfer only three days ago. It seems like light years away from today.
I'm back at work this morning and already it's crazy in my office. It's snowing here again, so quite a few schools are closed and so my boss and my assistant are out of the office. Which means I get to spend the day catching up in peace. Sometimes the snow really is a blessing!
E has been sick since the Friday after Christmas and he's just not getting any better. At first it was the tonsillitis, but now he's got this nasty cough and all sorts of yucky colors are running from his nose. I'm worried he might have bronchitis or even worse, pneumonia. And of course, R is in Atlanta all week so it'll be up to me to stay home with him if E ends up being sick. I'm almost afraid to call his school to check in on him because he was so ill this morning. I admit it, I dropped my sick kid off at school. Well, first I doped him up on Motrin to hide the fever and THEN I dropped him off. Hate me if you want, but yes, I'm THAT mother today. Not much else I could do at this point... he's not reponsding to any of the OTC meds I've been giving him, I was out all last week and my work wouldn't be very pleased if I have to take more time off to take care of E. It's such a rotten place to be stuck in.
As for me, I've been trying to take it easy as much as I can. I'm a little panicked because I've been getting a nasty pain in my ear again which almost always happens five or six days after I ovulate. Technically, my retrieval date would be my ovulation date and today is six days after. The ear pain usually means a migraine is on the horizon which, to me would be a very, very bad sign. It would mean no pregnancy. I'm trying to ignore it, but it's not easy. It's a nagging pain that goes along with the nagging "What if?" voice that keeps playing over and over in my head. I know it's too soon, but I'm still really scared that it didn't work again. Actually, I'm beyond scared. I'm petrified. Why am I so petrified? Do I already know in my subconscious that it didn't work and it's manifesting itself as fear? I don't know what to do anymore. I'm trying to stay hopeful, but it's not easy when I feel so skeptical about it. I think the only thing that it keeping me from jumping over the edge is the fact that I don't have the cramping like I did last cycle at this time. I hate this waiting. It's enough to drive any person to madness.
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2 comments:
Praying for you that this cycle worked. I know it's hard to stay positive, hang in there!
Hey! I've been out of town, so just catching up now.
I think your thoughts are perfectly understandable! You can read into every little sign, but that isn't going to determine whether or not you get a good, positive beta. Migraines can happen whether or not you are prego this time, so don't let that worry you! (I know, easier said than done.)
After hearing your explanation for the reasons you and R went with two, that just sounds so spot on. I think that was a great idea, and I think (and pray) that you'll have a very positive outcome with this transfer.
Prays and good thoughts for your two little ones! :)
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