After reading J and A's comments about the antibiotics I decided to just call my doctor and get an appointment to see her. I've been on the eyrthromycin for four days and I still have a ton of pain in my jaw and cheekbones so it's time to get this thing gone.
As of today I am officially 5 weeks pregnant. It's nice to think that I get some pregnancy-credit for the two weeks of hell I went through after the retrieval. My due date is September 30 if this is a singleton and September 9 if both embryos are in there. Right now I'm feeling like there's only one baby, but you just never know. Truth be told, I don't really even feel pregnant, so for all I know it could be twins. I walk around my office now repeating "I'm pregnant. Pregnant." It's hard to get used to the idea! But I'm excited about it. So excited that I don't even know where to start. I'm also really apprehensive too. I'm nervous about what they'll find on the ultrasound, especially since my numbers started out so low. I'm sure we'll get some better answers when I have my last beta next week, which will be 5 weeks, 6 days. When I had my beta run with E at six weeks it was in the 56,000 range, so I have no idea what to expect next week.
There's a really great website that calculates all of my relevant dates including due date, the date of 'cardiac contractions' (aka the heartbeat) and a whole bunch of other stuff. Here's the site: http://ivf.ca/calcu.htm Enter January 8, 2008 and select 'Retrieval/Ovulation' and all the dates will come up. According to the chart, this little one should have a heartbeat by Friday and the ultrasound should be able to pick up a heartbeat by February 12, 2008. Gosh, I hope that isn't cutting it too close... It would freak me out if I didn't get to see that heartbeat on Valentine's Day.
I completely depressed myself this morning by reading some posts on an IVF group that I belong to. A few of the people had posted their beta numbers and every one else's numbers are so much higher. I'm talking in the thousands at this point. And here I am at a measly little 217. Then I had to read further, which was just a bad idea. A few of the posters had low numbers and ended up not seeing anything on the first ultrasound. Both of them were diagnosed with a blighted ovum and told to take medications to induce a miscarriage. Now I'm totally freaked about my low numbers. I just feel like I can't get attached until I see something on that ultrasound.
I don't even know how to feel right now. I go from being so scared and wanting to cry to feeling hopeful and trying to just concentrate on being pregnant. But what if I'm not? What if this isn't viable? It's so depressing to think about right now. I'm still feeling so run down and this isn't doing good things for my mood. I just want to go home and crawl into bed and cry right now. I'm so scared this isn't going to work out.
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2 comments:
I'm so happy for you! I really will pray that the baby(or babies!, how cool would that be?!) sticks well for you. At least you know one thing, you ARE PG!!! Oh and step away from the internet, after I had my m/c it was very bad thing...
There are also plenty of folks who had low numbers and then went on to have great pregnancies, so don't focus on the bad stories -- there are some great stories too! I know it's easier said than done, but hang in there -- you ARE pregnant, and we'll be praying that you stay pregnant! Just let those little ones work hard, take it easy and rest when you can. Your body is working so hard right now! Feel better and remember that your numbers are GREAT! :)
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