Oh, this is Hell. Pure and utter HELL. I am a nervous freaking wreck. I can't even tell you how awful this waiting is. I took E to the local Children's Museum this morning to get my mind off everything, which worked pretty well. We got home just before lunch and when I checked the caller ID, I noticed that the IVF lab called but DIDN'T LEAVE A MESSAGE. I totally panicked. I kept thinking "Oh god, they wouldn't want to leave bad news on the machine. That's why they didn't leave a message. Oh god, oh god." I called them and asked if someone was looking for me. The girl pulled my chart and said "Oh, I called you. I don't have an embryo update, but I wanted to let you know that if the transfer does happen tomorrow, it will be really early, like 8:00am. Is that alright?" Of course, I said yes it would, but inside I'm flipping out. What does she mean IF it happens tomorrow? IF??? I asked her "So, there's no new news with the embryos, right?" and she answered "No, we don't even look at them on Day 4. We just leave them in the incubators until tomorrow when we check on them again." So technically she hasn't seen them and isn't holding back bad news from me. I know, I'm sick to think that way, but I'm freaking out here. I can't help it. I feel like my life as I know it is hanging in the balance. And the worst part is that R is in Chicago right now and can't talk me off the ledge.
Oh god, this is torture. I just want this over with. I want those little babies-to-be back where they're supposed to be. I can't take this waiting.
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4 comments:
Oh my gosh -- yeah, that missed call would have freaked me out too! I'm glad she didn't really have any news though. It really does sound like tomorrow WILL be the day though!!
So will they call you like at 6 a.m. or something to get you in there at 8 a.m.?
I have no advice for how to get your mind going on something else -- I imagine your little babies-to-be are at the forefront of your thoughts.
Although I'm sure E will think of plenty of cute things to say today to help keep you occupied! :)
Many prayers coming your way!!
Thinking of you this morning! Hope things are going GREAT!! :)
Oh this waiting is driving *me* crazy and I'm not even doing the IVF! What torture. I just have a really good feeling about this though. I mean, your embies have ALL made it this far, I'm sure you will have most if not all make it over the day 4 hurdle. I cannot wait to hear the update!
Just checking on you! Did you get to do the transfer today? I'm hoping and praying it went well! How are you feeling? When is R back in town?
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