R called the IVF lab yesterday to find out what happened with the embryos and he was able to talk to the lab’s Asst. Director for about 30 minutes. Because their policy is to not tell you the embryo grades while they are still fertilizing we had no idea how they were all doing, just that they were all still growing and reaching their milestones. It turns out that the two blasts that they transferred were both AA (the highest grade that blasts can be). The other two blasts were BB and the other 8 embryos didn't make it to full blast stage and so couldn't be graded or frozen. The lab’s policy is to not freeze anything below AA blasts, and so none were of the quality that they would have wanted to freeze, not even the other two that they didn’t transfer but that made it to blast stage. I was glad to hear that we were able to get two AA blasts, but part of me wishes that we could have known their grades before Day 5. It stinks that they told me that four made it to blast, but still only two were of a grade that were good enough to transfer and the other two couldn't even be frozen.
The Asst. Director told R that he honestly feels as though we made the right decision to wait for a day 5 transfer because even if we went with a day 3 transfer, we’d have no way of knowing which of those 12 embryos were the best grade; waiting until day 5 allowed us to ‘weed’ the less-than-great ones out. The Asst. Director felt that we would have ended up in the same exact position we were in if we had gone for a Day 3 transfer because the two that they would have chosen may not have been the two that eventually made it to AA blast. HE also said that by waiting until Day 5, we’ve increased our chance of success from the usual 48% chance to a 60% chance. R agreed that he’d rather have waited for the Day 5 and increase our chances to 60% than to have the unknown factor of wondering about the quality of what we transferred. Still, it’s very scary feeling like we have nothing to fall back on. Very, very frightening to think that we may have to do this all over again if this fails.
Right now I’m trying to focus all of my energy on encouraging these little ones to grow, grow, grow. Everyone that knows what I’m going through has been so supportive and it really, really helps. My friend from work, T, was so great this morning when I practically broke down telling her that we lost the remaining 10 embryos. She said that she believes that God has a perfect plan for me and that this is all going to work out somehow. I know she’s right but the journey there is so darned hard. Just so hard.
On a lighter note, one of the girls that I know from an on-line IVF community that I belong to brought up a good point. Right now I am officially pregnant until proven otherwise. Nice way to think about it.
In the meantime, keep all those positive thoughts coming. I need them more than you know.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
I'm so glad R got to talk to the lab about it all to give you the full story. And although that's tragic that the other ones didn't make it, I think that clearly shows that you were meant to wait until day 5 to do the transfer. I think your friend is right that God has a plan, and I really think this was all part of it. Those two little babies in your belly were meant to be there.
I'm praying hard that they continue to grow and grow and grow. Lots of prayers and positive thoughts headed your way.
Post a Comment